Unlike pharmaceutical-driven pain relief, natural pain relief is not something you can access in an instant, in pill or liquid form. Rather, natural pain relief comes from a dedicated practice of healing — identifying each and every opportunity you have to maximize your health & wellness, and siezing those opportunities. Here are 4 steps to starting on the path of natural pain relief:

1. Identify factors that exacerbate your pain levels.
Do you get stabs of nerve pain in your eyes, when you are around certain people? Does your pain jack up when you are sitting for long periods of time in front of the computer? Do you get pain flares the minute you arrive at work? Does your headache amp up when you imagine the worst-case scenario for an outcome?

2. Identify factors that lower your pain levels. 
Does your stomach pain seem to diminish when your nieces arrive? Can you walk more easily when it’s on the sand? Does your back soften when you are in a jacuzzi? Do you sleep more comfortably after reading positive affirmations?

3. Start the process of emphasizing and deemphasizing activites.
One baby step at a time, wherever and to whatever extent possible (even if just a tiny microshift), begin changing your behaviors. If reading affirmations has made you feel better before you go to sleep, keep a book on the nightstand, and commit to reading three brief affirmations each night, before turning out the lights. If a certain person triggers stabbing eye pain, get together with this person less frequently, and see how it feels.

4. Safely and gently experiment with additional behaviors.
Research reputable sources on what additional lifestyle changes may reduce pain levels, and begin experimenting with those that are the safest, easiest, and most appealing to you. For example, cutting down on or eliminating sugar is a less risky activity than trying chriopractic. Practicing meditation from a guided CD is less of a hassle than driving across town for a live class.

As you start on the path of natural pain relief, know that, as Martin Rossman, MD says, there will be “precious gains and painful losses.” Keep in mind that it may have taken you years to reach the state of pain and discomfort you’re in now. And so it may take you years to reach an alternate reality, with less or no pain and discomfort. Natural pain relief is not a quick-fix solution, but a dedicated practice of healing. May you be blessed on your journey down this path.

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Friends and family of those with chronic pain often feel helpless, as they watch the lives of their loved one fall apart. But even if you are not a doctor or holistic health guru, and even though you may not be able to make your friend or family member recover spontaneously, you can still help those in chronic pain feel healthier and happier. Here are five ways to help friends and family manage chronic pain:

1. Be flexible.
Those of us with chronic pain can be super flaky. Not becuase we want to be, but becuase the devil pain makes us. Body feels good, we move forward as planned. Body doesn’t feel good, we cancel. Everything. By offering compassion and understanding, instead of anger and judgment, you will help keep our anxiety and distress levels to a minimum. The lower those toxic emotions are, the lower our pain levels are. In other words, your kindness acts like a pain med dispenser.

2. Believe us.
According to pain patient advocacates, not being believed is the #1 cause of distress among chronic pain patients. We live in a world where most people need to see something so as to believe it. But most pain conditions are not detectable — by the most sophisticated diagnostic machines, never mind by the human eye. So if we tell you something hurts, trust us. It hurts.

3. Hand over your shoulder and a set of ears.
No matter how fierce and fiesty we are, those of us in pain lead very challenging lives — physically, emotionally, financially, spiritually, you name it. A loving shoulder to rest our weary heads and a caring set of ears to share our fear and grief, can make a world of difference. Of course, there is a fine line between healthy self-expression and unhealthy wallowing. Make sure you don’t cross into the territory of becoming an enabler for everybody drowning.

4. Be gentle.
Many people in pain, especially those with conditions like fibromyalgia, also have delicate nervous systems. Our pain levels can skyrocket at the drop of a hat, by causes that seem benign to most. So move slowly and gently around us, and give us an extra bubble of body space. If we even think you might bump against us, our bodies can react as if you just did. Yup! We’re that sensitive.

5. Ask what we need. And deliver it (within reason).
Chronic pain peeps are a diverse bunch and so are our needs. So ask how your friends and family can use your support – cooking dinner one night a week, doing an errand, or just calling each day for moral support. Make sure your request is genuine and that your body language reflects that genuine care. It’s hard enough for us to ask for support, much less from someone we’re not entirely convinced wants to give it! And remember to make sure your support of someone else does not cross your own boundaries. Resentment and overwhelm are toxic for all parties involved in the exchange.

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For those of us in chronic pain, there are a million reasons why we might choose to stay with a healthcare practitioner, even if that person is not quite meeting our needs. We may expect the same treatment or fear worse treatment from another healthcare practitioner; we may feel too emotionally, physically, or financially tapped to put in the time, effort, and possibly money involved in looking for a new healthcare practitioner; or we may live in a small town, have limited options in the immediate vicinity, and have limited access to transportation out of our area.

But sometimes staying with a healthcare practitioner can be more than unpleasant. It can be unsafe. That practitioner may misdiagnose us, jack up our pain levels through the stress of dealing with her or him, or even physically injure us by not listening to critical information we share. As exasperating as it may feel, and as draining as it may be, it just might be worth it to look for someone else to manage our care. Here are 5 red flags that a healthcare practitioner may not be safe for you:

1. The practitioner works with you in a way that feels abrupt, gruff, or otherwise harsh.
If you not only have chronic pain but also hypersensitivity, a practitioner who yanks, grabs, or pushes your body, or who careens around the floor on her or his rolling chair, can end up injuring or reinjuring your body. Not only that, but the anxiety you may feel around this practitioner may itself jack up your pain levels.

2. The practitioner refuses to give you or makes you wait long periods for tests or access to treatment.
If you have a practitioner who is unwilling to use her or his gatekeeping abilities to get you the diagnosis and treatment you need, what good is this individual to you?

3. The practitioner uses your case history for entertainment, judgment, or some other power trip.
There is one reason, and one reason alone, that we share our painful (literally and figuratively) journeys with healthcare practitioners: We are there for clinical help. There is never any valid reason for a practitioner to use that information in any way other than just that: information. If the practitioner makes jokes out of your story, tells you that you have bad luck or bad karma, rolls her or his eyes at your emotional expression, says that you should really wear a helmet walking down the street, or makes other inappropriate remarks, it very well may be time to move on.

4. You have the heeby-jeebies, internally clutch your body, or feel humiliated when you are in the practitioner’s presence.
You may not understand why, but you don’t really need to. Your body is telling you that you do not feel safe around this individual. Listen to your gut. 

5. The practitioner is unresponsive to your communication.
If you make the effort, once or a few times, to communicate your needs – such as the neex for gentle touch, verbal sensitivity, or access to tests and treatments – and the practitioner is dismissive, patronizing, caustic, unresponsive, or otherwise uncaring and insensitive, chances are it’s impossible to salvage the relationship with this practitioner. Keep in mind that a practitioner-patient relationship is just that: a relationship. And as with all relationships, there are good ones and bad ones. Stay away from the bad ones.

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We all have different bodies, different sources of pain, and different personalities. So of course, we won’t end up with identical treatments for our pain conditions. I recommend gently and gradually exploring the many natural pain relief methods out there and seeing what works for you. Here are five natural pain relief methods to explore, for starters:

1. Movement:
As a friend’s bodyworker once said, “Use it or lose it.” For you, the movement might be dance, biking, walking, gentle yoga, or, hell, just geting out of bed for two minutes at a stretch. Instead of saying, “I can’t,” becuase you are at this moment unable to do a movement the way you once did in your pre-pain days, ask, “How can I?” and make pain-friendly adaptations. Stay in your comfort zones (never go into your pain zones!), but be at the edge of those zones, so that your body is always moving forward.

2.  Anti-inflammatory diet
There is a ton of research on the benefits of an anti-inflammatory diet for natural pain relief– so get yourself edumacated, whether through books or on the mighty Internet. Some of the well-known examples of this diet include salmon, tumeric, and walnuts. James Dillard, MD and Andrew Weil, MD are great integrated medicine specialists to turn to for information on this diet.

3.  Guided imagery
Know how millions and millions of dollars are poured into controlling the placebo effect? Yeah. That’s right. Your mind is that powerful. So use it. As David Bresler, PhD says, you can worry yourself sick. And so you can think yourself well. Marty Rossman, MD has outstanding books and CDs offering instruction in and explanation of the method.

4.  Energy healing
I know it sounds woo-woo, but think about it: Aren’t there people who make your body cringe when they walk in the room? And to the contrary, aren’t there people who make you feel all warm and fuzzy or giddy with happiness? That’s energy, baby! So find someone with good vibrations and ask them for some hands-on healing or positive, loving thoughts and prayers. Books and DVDs by Adam/DreamHealer are a terrific resource for learning more about energy healing.

5.  Distraction
As much as possible, try to hoist yourself out of your pain rut (again, without jacking up your pain levels), by pursuing a passion — whether finger-painting in the living room, watching funny movies with a BFF, or heading off to the beach to watch a glorious sunset. Research indicates that the more our lives are filled with stuff that gets our Spirit juice going, the less intensely we experience pain.

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I recently began a gig as a contributing writer and integrated medicine columnist at Pain Pathways magazine, the publication of the World Institute on Pain. It’s exciting to be able to write regularly on topics that are close to my heart, that can help improve the lives of people in chronic and debilitating pain, and that can help promote natural pain relief methods.

My first article in the magazine, “Kiss Your Isolation Goodbye,” came out in the Spring 2010 issue. For this story, I interviewed a fantastic group of people, representing a cross-section of chronic pain patients, advocates, and healthcare practitioners. This article takes a look at the benefits of starting or joining a chronic pain support group, identifies the red flags and pitfalls to look out for, and offers practical advice on getting the ball rolling. There was so much helpful information that couldn’t fit into the article! So I also have been publishing a series of blog posts featuring the full-length interviews.

I hope you enjoy this piece (click the link in the paragraph above, for a PDF version), and be sure to keep your eye out for my upcoming articles in Pain Pathways magazine. I have three stories in the Summer issue — one about the Good Patient Syndrome, one about the benefits of massage in treating pain, and one on the recent Pain Care Act that was part of the health care bill signed into law.

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