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I Miss My Mom
Posted By Loolwa Khazzoom On March 28, 2009 @ 3:56 pm In Patient Advocacy | 1 Comment
I miss my mom. I miss calling to get her opinion on everything in my life – work, men, exercise, general pontifications. I miss her reminding me of who I am and validating my badass, outlier self.
Before the accident, my mom and I talked every day, often several times. Despite all the head-butting and general insanity in our relationship over the years, I always knew I was not alone in the world – that there was someone to call in the dead of night when I was upset, frightened, or feeling crazy insecure.
I was depressed this morning, for a number of reasons: Family drama and trauma that had resurfaced through dealing with my mom’s accident. Confusion about how a man can express a deep soul connection, then disappear. Loneliness and insufficient social and support network. Frustration about pain issues keeping me from many activities I used to enjoy.
I called my mom, to see if maybe today she was lucid enough to carry on a semi-normal conversation. With no “hello” preamble, she directly launched into a monologue about…
I felt more depressed after hanging up. For all intents and purposes, at least for now, I’ve lost my best friend.
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