What I’ve come to understand over the years of blogging is that it’s not just the women’s mags who want a tidy narrative. It’s a whole heap o’ people. Somehow, if you are telling the tale of woe from the finish line, where you’ve already hoisted yourself out of the heap, freed yourself from the jaws of alligators, and sprinted your torn-up ass all the whole way home, people see your struggle as evidence of strength.

But if you’re sharing the journey along the way, and if that journey is one hell of a messy ride, and if you haven’t quite yet crossed the finish line, those same people may see you as a fuckup – identifying you with the crazy circumstances, instead of recognizing you as someone with the muscle to get through it and instead of cheering you along the way.

I think that’s a reflection on how people cope with their own difficulties. They simply project that thinking onto others. I keep wondering if people like Elizabeth Gilbert’s millions of fans would be so encouraging and admiring of her if they’d met her when she was only partway through the Eat-Pray-Love journey.

Blogging is an interesting phenomenon that (obviously) hasn’t happened before: Artist at Work is now Artist at Work on Display. In this blog, for example, I share my process, not just the container of a fully-developed story. And often I only share the really hard stuff, because that’s what I’m working out. Part of my process of working it out is writing it out.

I think it’s most interesting and sacred to accompany someone on their journey in life, to be with them through the hills and valleys, instead of to wait till they get home to tell the tale. To witness The Odyssey in action instead of reading about it in a book. But as I have come to realize, a lot of people just can’t stomach it.

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loolwa(Tue Nov 9 00:42:46 PST 2010)>

bad customer service experiences, very upset, need help transfering service

 analyst Lisette has entered room
Lisette(Tue Nov 9 00:42:55 PST 2010)>

Hello loolwa, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Lisette. Please give me one moment to review your information.
Lisette(Tue Nov 9 00:43:22 PST 2010)>

Glad to have you in chat, loolwa
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 21:46:54 PST 2010)>

i called on saturday morning to say i needed to postpone getting my service transfered. my phone was disconnected, so i had to call on my cell. i was on hold THIRTY MINUTES, with no resolution. i could not wait any longer. i have a medical condition that makes it literally painful to talk on a cell phone. the next day, my issue still wasn’t resolved. again i called on the cell, again i was on hold for a long time. i tried telling the agent that i could not stay on the phone that long, but he didn’t even listn, just put me back on hold twice. then i called this morning to say that i would not be at the new place until tonight, and so i could not make the installation appointment. the agent showed up anyhow — as evidenced by the note on my door. early this evening, i called to request service tomorrow between 10-12, which is the only time i can make. i was told that was impossible. i asked to speak with a supervisor. i was put on hold, then transfered to a numbe that just rang and rang and rang. meanwhile, in all these situations, my ear was in pain becuase of the long hold times. I am really upset and may switch to AT&T because of this lousy customer service. In addition to this, i also was told in my previous location, that the rep could not activate the phone jacks except in ONE place, right at the entry point of the cable. so whenever i needed to fax something from my office (upstairs), i had to take the entire printer (large, heavy) downstairs, plug it into the phone jack, then go back upstairs.
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 21:47:31 PST 2010)>

i think the least your company can do is accommodate my need to have a rep come tomorrow between 10-12 to install my phone. right now i’m at an internet cafe becuase i have no phone service and cannot talk on teh cell, i mean be put on hold on the cell, any longer.
Lisette(Tue Nov 9 00:50:01 PST 2010)>

Loolwa, I really do apologize for the inconvenience that has caused you.
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 21:50:06 PST 2010)>

ok
Lisette(Tue Nov 9 00:50:15 PST 2010)>

Loolwa, may I have the Comcast account number please to check this for you.
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 21:50:19 PST 2010)>

[phone number]
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 21:50:28 PST 2010)>

oh account number?
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 21:50:30 PST 2010)>

i don’t have it.
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 21:50:32 PST 2010)>

i’m at an internet cafe
Lisette(Tue Nov 9 00:51:05 PST 2010)>

It’s alright, Loolwa, thank you for the information.
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 21:51:01 PST 2010)>

ok
Lisette(Tue Nov 9 00:51:43 PST 2010)>

Loolwa, may I asked when are you going to transfer your service, and may I have the new address please.
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 21:52:10 PST 2010)>

btw i forgot to mention — i had initially asked for my phone service to be transfered on sat afternoon, the guy was supposed to come at 2 pm. but my phone was already cut off several hours earlier. my internet worked until this morning, it was off by 5:30 am, when i woke up. just watned to clarify.
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 21:52:15 PST 2010)>

i am ready to transfer service now.
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 21:52:18 PST 2010)>

i just moved today
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 21:52:32 PST 2010)>

[new address]
Lisette(Tue Nov 9 00:54:23 PST 2010)>

Loolwa, I do apologize for the inconvenience that has caused you with regards to this I will transfer you to our sales Department to transfer the service to your new address.
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 21:54:38 PST 2010)>

can you please not transfer me but arrange for the service call tomrorow
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 21:54:44 PST 2010)>

i need it between 10 am – 12 pm
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 21:55:01 PST 2010)>

i think i’ve spent enough time waiting for people in the cust service dept, no?
Lisette(Tue Nov 9 00:55:12 PST 2010)>

Loolwa, before I transfer you to our Sales Department may I have a reliable number to contact you.
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 21:55:19 PST 2010)>

i don’t have a number to contact me. that’s why i’m here.
Lisette(Tue Nov 9 00:56:07 PST 2010)>

Loolwa, this will be a chat support under our sales department. I really do apologize I am unable to process this since I handle technical support for internet service.
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 21:56:04 PST 2010)>

and i’d really like to go home, but i’m waiting here on this chat so i resolve my phone problem
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 21:56:27 PST 2010)>

can you please just put in a call to a supervisor there.
Lisette(Tue Nov 9 00:57:11 PST 2010)>

Loolwa, I understand, as I see here in the account the service is schedule for the disconnection of your service today.
Lisette(Tue Nov 9 00:57:28 PST 2010)>

And in order to process your request it is our sales department will process this for you.
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 21:58:04 PST 2010)>

they have 15 min to resolve it. then i’m switching to At&t. This is really not acceptable customer service i have experienced with comcast. a waste of my time and inconsiderate.
Lisette(Tue Nov 9 00:58:50 PST 2010)>

Loolwa, may I transfer you to our Sales department to have this process immediately.
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 21:58:56 PST 2010)>

fine
Lisette(Tue Nov 9 00:59:26 PST 2010)>

Loolwa, please give me 1 minute to transfer you properly.
Lisette(Tue Nov 9 00:59:59 PST 2010)>

Please wait, while the problem is escalated to another analyst

analyst Kevin has entered room

analyst Lisette has left room
Kevin (Tue Nov 9 01:00:15 PST 2010)>

Welcome to Comcast! A fantastic day to you!
Kevin (Tue Nov 9 01:01:36 PST 2010)>

Loolwa, how are you today?
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:01:34 PST 2010)>

, please read the convo
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:01:43 PST 2010)>

i want this issue resolved by 10:15 pm
Kevin (Tue Nov 9 01:02:59 PST 2010)>

Yes, I understand.
Kevin (Tue Nov 9 01:03:17 PST 2010)>

It looks here that you want to transfer your current services, am I correct?
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:03:22 PST 2010)>

i want the rep to come tomorrow between 10 am – 12 pm.
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:03:43 PST 2010)>

given the poor customer service i have had to date, i think that’s the least comcast can do to compensate me for my trouble
Kevin (Tue Nov 9 01:06:22 PST 2010)>

As much as I want to help, to transfer your services I will transfer your to our Movers Edge Department.
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:06:25 PST 2010)>

you are KIDDING me
Kevin (Tue Nov 9 01:08:32 PST 2010)>

Im happy to tell you that I can make a new account for you, for your new address and you will be eligible for the new promotions that we have, will that be okay with you?
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:08:53 PST 2010)>

all i want to hear right now is that you will have a rep at my door between 10 am – 12 pm tomorrow
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:08:59 PST 2010)>

and i want this resolved in the next 7 minutes
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:09:10 PST 2010)>

i have other service providers to choose from
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:10:00 PST 2010)>

i also have a blog, and i don’t mind writing about the crappy customer service i received to date with comcast
Kevin (Tue Nov 9 01:10:28 PST 2010)>

As much as I want to help you, like I said, I will be transferring you to our Movers Edge Department to transfer your services to your new address.
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:10:34 PST 2010)>

ok they have 5 minutes
Kevin (Tue Nov 9 01:11:06 PST 2010)>

Yes, I understand your concern.
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:11:22 PST 2010)>

i don’t have a concern. i have a clock running out of time for comcast. at&t is waiting in FOUR minutes
Kevin (Tue Nov 9 01:11:50 PST 2010)>

Please stay on the line while I will be transferring you to our Movers Edge department for your transfer of service.

analyst Roselle has entered room
Kevin (Tue Nov 9 01:12:17 PST 2010)>

Please wait, while the problem is escalated to another analyst
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:12:18 PST 2010)>

3 minutes
Roselle(Tue Nov 9 01:12:30 PST 2010)>

Welcome to Comcast Movers Edge!  You may call me Roselle.  It is so nice to have you on chat.  I will be the one in charge to process your transfer request.  How are you doing today?

analyst Kevin  has left room
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:12:51 PST 2010)>

i want someone at my door between 10 am – 12 pm tomorrow morning to switch service. i have had it with this poor customer service. i want this resolved NOW.
Roselle(Tue Nov 9 01:13:37 PST 2010)>

Good day to you!  You have reached the Movers Edge Department.  I am glad to have you on chat today. Just to confirm, would you be transferring to a new home and would want to bring your Comcast services with you?
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:14:12 PST 2010)>

i just spent about 20 minutes writing out the whole saga. i also just said i want my service transfered. you have one minute to resolve this issue. or i’m leaving comcast
Roselle(Tue Nov 9 01:15:21 PST 2010)>

I am sorry to hear that, Loolwa. I certainly understand how you feel. However,  I will need to make sure that everything works perfectly for your transfer.
Roselle(Tue Nov 9 01:15:42 PST 2010)>

Please give me a few minutes while I review the conversation you had with the previous agent.
Roselle(Tue Nov 9 01:19:08 PST 2010)>

Thank you so much for waiting, Loolwa. I see here that you would be transferring your services to this address [new address] tomorrow between 10AM and 12PM.
Roselle(Tue Nov 9 01:19:34 PST 2010)>

I will be glad to assist you with your request. Please give me one moment while I pull up your account and the new address in our system.
Roselle(Tue Nov 9 01:20:08 PST 2010)>

For your account security, please verify your first and last name, as well as, the last four digits of your social security number.
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:20:12 PST 2010)>

loolwa khazzoom
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:20:14 PST 2010)>

is this secure
Roselle(Tue Nov 9 01:20:55 PST 2010)>

I understand your hesitation with giving out information online. I used to feel that way, as well. However, let me reassure you that COMCAST is all about protecting customer’s confidentiality and whatever information that you provide will remain between us.
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:21:00 PST 2010)>

is this a secure site
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:21:53 PST 2010)>

never mind i see the lock symbol
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:21:57 PST 2010)>

[last four of social]
Roselle(Tue Nov 9 01:22:07 PST 2010)>

Yes, Loolwa.
Roselle(Tue Nov 9 01:22:36 PST 2010)>

Thank you so much for that information, Loolwa.
Roselle(Tue Nov 9 01:26:11 PST 2010)>

I apologize for the delay, Loolwa. I am currently checking the status of your account.
Roselle(Tue Nov 9 01:27:26 PST 2010)>

I can see here that Transfer of Service Request has been processed. And your current account in [old address] was disconnected on November 6.
Roselle(Tue Nov 9 01:30:55 PST 2010)>

Thank you so much for waiting.
Roselle(Tue Nov 9 01:31:06 PST 2010)>

Loolwa, I was able to check the new address in our system.
Roselle(Tue Nov 9 01:31:24 PST 2010)>

And I can see here that there is a pending installation work order in your account on November 8 between 10AM and 12PM.
Roselle(Tue Nov 9 01:32:03 PST 2010)>

Our technician will be calling you 15 minutes prior to installation appointment.
Roselle(Tue Nov 9 01:32:17 PST 2010)>

Is this the best number to call you: [cell #]?
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:32:24 PST 2010)>

OMG you are kidding me. This is OUTRAGEOUS. I WANT A SUPERVISOR NOW!!!!!!!!!
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:32:52 PST 2010)>

You do realize that Nov 8 was THIS MORNING and that I addressed this botch in the narrative I took the time to write in this chat
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:33:12 PST 2010)>

I am NOW posting the entire transcript of this chat onto my blog so that people around the country can see what crap customer service people will get if they sign onto comcast
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:33:47 PST 2010)>

you will find my post there shortly
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:33:55 PST 2010)>

i have had it
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:34:01 PST 2010)>

it’s been an HOUR on this chat
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:34:04 PST 2010)>

more wasted time
Roselle(Tue Nov 9 01:34:10 PST 2010)>

I apologize for the inconvenience, Loolwa.
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:34:19 PST 2010)>

not inconvenience. poor customer service. with no resolution. just spinning around wasting more and more of my time.
Roselle(Tue Nov 9 01:34:37 PST 2010)>

Here is what I can do, I will have it rescheduled for you.
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:34:39 PST 2010)>

i thought you were going to solve this, so i gave extra time. but it’s now been 20 MORE minutes since i said that i would switch to at&t
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:34:53 PST 2010)>

i’m listening
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:35:36 PST 2010)>

waiting
Roselle(Tue Nov 9 01:36:32 PST 2010)>

I am checking for the notes here why the services have not yet been connected, Loolwa.
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:37:08 PST 2010)>

I already wrote about it above.
Roselle(Tue Nov 9 01:38:59 PST 2010)>

I understand, Loolwa. I apologize for the delay. I just want to make sure that everything works properly here. Thank you for your patience.
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:39:05 PST 2010)>

I don’t have any patience left
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:39:14 PST 2010)>

just want the apointment window from 10 am – 12 pm
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:39:19 PST 2010)>

as i have said about six times now
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:41:15 PST 2010)>

ok seriously, when is this going to be over.
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:41:20 PST 2010)>

my groceries are melting
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:41:25 PST 2010)>

or already have
Roselle(Tue Nov 9 01:41:35 PST 2010)>

I am checking for the earliest date and time available in our system, Loolwa.
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:41:35 PST 2010)>

you are kidding me
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:41:39 PST 2010)>

ok up it goes
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:41:40 PST 2010)>

hold on
Roselle(Tue Nov 9 01:42:19 PST 2010)>

However, I apologize but we no longer have installation appointment on November 9th. What we have here for you will be next day, and that will be on November 10th between 10AM and 12PM.
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:42:19 PST 2010)>

i want a manager
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:42:25 PST 2010)>

and i’ll send you the link to the blog post in a bit
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:42:27 PST 2010)>

what a WASTE OF TIME
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:44:00 PST 2010)>

almost live, hold on a sec
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:44:03 PST 2010)>

will send the URL

Roselle(Tue Nov 9 01:44:47 PST 2010)>

I really do apologize for that, Loolwa.
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:45:00 PST 2010)>

no this is great. awesome PR on how horrible your customer service is.
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:45:07 PST 2010)>

why hasn’t the supervisor stepped in yet?
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:45:19 PST 2010)>

there’s always time to add this part about how long it takes to get a supervisor
Roselle(Tue Nov 9 01:47:00 PST 2010)>

Please give me one moment while I turn this over to our supervisor.
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:47:14 PST 2010)>

ok i’m editing out my personal info, the blog post will be live in a bit . happy reading!
Roselle(Tue Nov 9 01:47:56 PST 2010)>

Please hold on while I transfer you to our supervisor, Loolwa.
Roselle(Tue Nov 9 01:48:26 PST 2010)>

Please wait, while the problem is escalated to another analyst

analyst Roselle has left room

analyst Marry has entered room
Marry(Tue Nov 9 01:49:29 PST 2010)>

Hi, Loolwa.
Marry(Tue Nov 9 01:50:04 PST 2010)>

Please let me review your interaction with Roselle for 2-3 minutes.
Marry(Tue Nov 9 01:52:23 PST 2010)>

Thank you for waiting, Loolwa.
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:52:51 PST 2010)>

no problem. i’m on a mission now. busy blogging.
Marry(Tue Nov 9 01:52:57 PST 2010)>

I have reviewed your concerns. I do really apologize for the inconvenience.
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:53:10 PST 2010)>

yeah heard that before, and gee, 90 min later, still no resolution in site.
Marry(Tue Nov 9 01:53:22 PST 2010)>

I understand that you would like to have your services installed on the soonest date available.
Marry(Tue Nov 9 01:53:25 PST 2010)>

Did I get it right?
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:53:21 PST 2010)>

NO
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:53:22 PST 2010)>

tomorrow
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:53:24 PST 2010)>

i need to leave now
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:53:27 PST 2010)>

the cafe is closing
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:53:28 PST 2010)>

tomorrow
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:53:31 PST 2010)>

10 am – 12 pm
Marry(Tue Nov 9 01:53:43 PST 2010)>

Okay.
Marry(Tue Nov 9 01:53:54 PST 2010)>

Loolwa, this is the situation.
Marry(Tue Nov 9 01:54:20 PST 2010)>

I do see here that there is an open installation order in your account at [address]
loolwa(Mon Nov 8 22:54:26 PST 2010)>

now this is just comedy

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In the Dancing with Pain® method, we never, ever do anything that jacks up our pain. To the contrary, we tap into the places in our bodies that are pain-free, dancing within and from them. This process of simply enjoying where we feel good effectively expands that space – until, one day, that space dominates our bodies.

In my case, the transformation was immediate. In the span of four days, I went from barely being able to walk, to tearing up a dance floor. The next day, however, I was back in pain again. I danced it away, but back it returned. It went on like this for the period of a few years.

What I noticed over time, however, was that as the weeks and months progressed, the level of pain that returned was significantly lower. And lower and lower. Until, as if caught by surprise, I suddenly realized that I was living with little to no pain at all and that my physical abilities had exponentially multiplied.

So here’s my takeaway lesson: The spirit of defiance totally rocks. But respect your pain. In my experience, I did not have to fight it in order to reduce and eventually eliminate it. Through a gentle and consistent practice of joy and self-love, the pain just danced its own damn self out the door.

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1. I was blacklisted from physical therapy. I am not joking. I was told that because I’d had chronic pain for years (because the doctors were negligent in getting me tested, properly diagnosed, and treated for it), I was therefore permanently disabled and therefore could not be rehabilitated and therefore was disqualified from physical therapy. Never mind the fact that I was improving by leaps and bounds from physical therapy treatments, in a very short amount of time.
2. Over the past 15 years, I have paid as much as $700+ a month for health insurance that has gotten me medical treatment that was actively or passively negligent, causing me to go from bad to worse over the course of a decade – in turn costing me well over $100,000 in out-of-pocket expenses.
3. In July, they double-charged my bank account – causing checks to bounce, in turn causing overdraft protection fees and an overdraft withdrawal from my credit card – in turn causing my credit card to overdraw, in turn causing a ding on my credit report. At a time that I’m applying for bank loans for my business. I spent several hours cleaning up the mess. Would they offer me any kind of compensation for the inconvenience? No. Of course not. They’re Anthem Blue Cross. They’re not accountable to anyone.

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Here’s a collection of blog posts I’ve written on the topic. I’d love to hear your thoughts, and I’d love to know about your own experiences and strategies for getting through a crowd in one piece.

A Case for Agoraphobia

Boundaries, Barriers, and a Proactive Response to Pain

Breathing Room: Slow down and respect fellow humans

Careless Movement Strikes Again

Courtesy, Chronic Pain, and Consequence

Dishing out Chronic Pain Attitude

Energy Input, Energy Output, Chronic Pain, and Social Justice Activism

Four Tips for Creating Safety in Dance Circles

Navigating through the World with Chronic Pain

Office Depot Careless Movement Followup

Overcoming a Setback

Safety in Dance Circles

Space Bullies Make It Unsafe for People with Chronic Pain and Sensitivity

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Our happy body parts then encourage the rest of our body to get into the groove. Even the pain gremlins get so excited that they stop kicking our ass and start shaking their booty.

Which is why I’m deliriously excited about the Dancing with Pain® partnership with Six Degrees Records. Togehter, we are creating a downloadable audio class series, which will be released on occasion of the formal company launch in mid-July. The Breakfast Mix offers 30 min of inspirational music to hoist you out of your pain pit and into a altered state of consciousness — where you can tap into the extraordinary healing power of your mind and body. From the comfort of your own damn bed!

This class is ideal for people whose pain levels suck so bad that they can’t make it out of the house to get some help. Help is on the way. And it’s super cheap, ideal for people whose chronic pain has sucked their financial resources dry. (Believe me, I know this one intimately.) Not only is the class just $2.99, but if you pre-order now, you can get it for a 15% discount.

Check out Dancing with Pain®’s brand spankin’ new natural pain relief store for the Breakfast Mix and a diverse selection of downloadable audio classes, teleconferences, in-person workshops, and apparrel with some chronic pain attitude. As always, I send you blessings for light, love, and HEALING.

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Facilitated Discussion 4:00 pm – 5:00 pm
Guided Freestyle Dance 5:00 pm – 6:00 pm

$15 per person, limit 15 attendees.

Pre-registeration is recommended by clicking here

MuDo Integrated Martial Arts Center
1624 Ocean Park Boulevard
Santa Monica, CA 90405
(310) 980-5790

Join Anna Tostrup Worsley, visiting from Sweden, and DANCEformation™ and Dancing with Pain® methods founder Loolwa Khazzoom, for an hour-long conversation about the healing powers of dance, followed by an hour-long guided freestyle dance session that is safe for people with all levels of ability/disability.

After a bus accident leaving Anna with a broken back and paralyzed leg in her 20s, she discovered that by organically dancing the rest of her body to an inner rhythm, she could accomplish what no doctor was able to help her do: completely recover. To celebrate, Anna — who was told she would never walk again — went on a 400 mile hike in the mountains, and she now practices acro-yoga — combining acrobatics and yoga. In addition, Anna has since written two books based on her story, and she writes a blog called “365 Days of Pain-Free Living.”

After a hit-and-run, head-on car collision, followed by medical negligence, Loolwa lived with chronic and debilitating pain throughout her body. Barely able to walk two blocks, she had a mystical experience leading her to discover that by dancing the parts of her body that were free from pain, she could spontaneously transform and, over time, heal the parts of her body that were in pain. Loolwa went on to teach this unique dance method to others and discovered that it had a 96% efficacy rate in reducing or eliminating pain. She has since teamed up with mind-body medicine pioneer, Martin Rossman, MD, LAc, who is serving as the medical supervisor for upcoming clinical trials.

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1. Pain is often invisible.

“Someone with diabetes may be viewed in the context of how they comply with instructions, but the professional will believe their medical story and complaints,” explains Bonnie Cardenas, PT, director of Cardenas Physical Therapy. “To the contrary, someone with chronic pain, for which there is no obvious etiology, will be viewed very differently…The patient’s veracity and emotional state may be suspect.”  

2. Pain patients are often stigmatized.

“So many pain patients are listed as ‘head cases,’ ‘train wrecks,’ ‘drug seekers,’ and ‘psych cases’ before they are ever even seen,” reveals Shannon Stocker, M.D., who herself suffers from Complex Regional Pain Syndrome.  “Especially with regard to women in chronic pain, unless they are exhibiting physiological symptoms that can be measured and proven, ‘pain’ is equated too often with ‘psychosomatic.’  It makes the ability to achieve a mutually-respectful relationship nearly impossible.  And if a physician does not believe or trust a patient, effective treatment is obviously not going be given, and the patient will continue to suffer.”

3. The response to pain medication is often misunderstood.
Opioid medications may lead to tolerance, dependence, and heightened pain, says Beth Darnell, PhD — Assistant Professor in the Department of Anesthesiology & Perioperative Medicine at Oregon Health & Science University.  “While these are medical consequences from prescribed medication, they are also the same consequences one experiences as a result of medication misuse,” she says. “The iatrogenic effects from opioids may be difficult for the provider to tease apart from misuse behaviors, and this can lead to strained patient-provider relations.”

4. Pain patients may have trouble functioning properly.           

“My command of the English language is normally strong,” says Bridgette Donahue, a chronic pain patient and former news reporter in Michigan, “however, pain chips away at my ability to communicate.”

5. Managed care does not allow adequate time for complex cases.

Given the current sickness of our healthcare, says David Simon, MD – CEO, medical director, and co-founder of the Chopra Center for Wellbeing, doctors try to fit patients into the system, instead of fitting the system around patients. In addition, he continues, “Most modern physicians are facing time pressure. If they don’t see a certain number of patients in an hour and bill a certain number of visits, then they cannot make ends meet. So any time there is someone who is more challenging for the typical physician practice, that person gets categorized as a difficult patient.”

6. Difficult pain cases are confused with difficult patients.

“Certainly, some people are unwilling to follow recommendations and may over-rely on medication to treat their pain,” says Darnell. “However, some people may try many things in an effort to help themselves and simply not be successful in gaining relief.”  Whether from a sense of helplessness or ego bruising, experts muse, providers nonetheless may blame patients for the failure of treatment.

7. Cultural symbols enforce deference to doctors.

The power difference between doctor and patient (white coat, sterile office, one person lying down and one hovering over, one being called “Dr. So-and-So,” the other being called by a first name) “can be formidable,” says Darnell. The patient is “in a subordinate, almost inferior role,” agrees Stocker, making otherwise assertive individuals act deferential around doctors. “The sad thing is that society has fed into this dynamic,” she says.

8. Chronically ill patients have disease fatigue.
Given the exhaustion involved in living with chronic illness and responding to its devastating effect on one’s life, it can be overwhelming to even think about negotiating with a current doctor or starting over with a new one. “People are sick and tired of being sick and tired,” empathizes James Dillard, M.D., D.C., C.Ac – a chronic pain specialist and author of The Chronic Pain Solution. “They just want a break.” 

9. Doctors follow in each other’s footsteps.
Every time a patient sees a new doctor, that doctor will request charts from previous practitioners. “Once a practitioner reads or hears that someone is a ‘difficult patient,’ I believe the practitioner inevitably cannot wait for the appointment to be over,” says Stocker. “The practitioner does not believe a word that comes out of the patient’s mouth, so the practitioner does not listen. The practitioner also does not believe that the patient will listen, so the practitioner does not want to invest time and energy into the patient. The patient typically does not listen, because the s/he does not feel heard by the practitioner. And so the cycle continues, with the patient’s well-being getting lost somewhere along the way.”

10. The devil we know seems better than the devil we don’t.

“A lot of people don’t understand what it’s like to be taken care of by a good doctor who really is there for patients,” says Dillard. “They stick with a miserable status quo, because they just don’t know any better…Why do women stay in abusive relationships and bad marriages? They feel powerless. They feel like they don’t have any other options. It’s the same psychology. It’s the Stockholm Syndrome.”

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