Very interested in your work but the typeface on your site
is almost impossible to read, and I can’t seem to increase
the viewing size…

Despite the fact that I thoroughly enjoyed a six-week introductory-community-offered class on favorite types of ballroom dancing (waltz, foxtrot, samba, tango, etc.), I don’t actually enjoy dancing because I CAN’T FEEL THE BEAT. PERIOD. When others automatically clap to a singer’s musical (cadenced; rhythmical) offering, I love the song, and the feeling expressed by the singer — but my body, especially the feet, miss the whole point of it– what’s this?

And (sadly for her because I can’t join her), my wife LOVES to dance and can’t possibly sit still when an Irish jig or similar (for others, toe-tapping) musical rendition fills the air, which sends her and most others into a sort of enraptured twirling and spinning frenzy … while I, mystified at their sudden, if spontaneous gyrations, smile with feigned delight as THEY enjoy themselves. It just doesn’t happen to me!

YET — I love to sing — have even been said to have a wonderful voice similar to Don Williams (my favorite), but closer to Bing Crosby in terms of the range I can manage. In fact, we’ve sung “True Love” to please others who have heard us so many times, and who marvel at my ability to come in perfectly at prescribed entrance points, while totally unable to clap at the same time as everybody else!

My pains began at age 66 with bladder cancer, coupled with prostate cancer (which terminated finally when the prostate was surgically removed), which came in waves of stifling aches from the strain of urinating– rather attempting to–but typically failing to manage more than a cloudy drop or two. Now, post-surgery, I pee freely and usually pain free — much to the chagrin of those younger men struggling in the urinal spaces next to mine in restrooms, who are always painfully attempting to pass urine through urethras squeezed shut by super-enlarged prostate glands. THANK GOD that part of it is in the past! The bladder cancer (unbelievably, but true) is gone thanks to 18 treatments of having my aching bladder filled with 100 cc’s of TB BACTERIA for an hour, as I rolled from one of four positions to another (back, left side, front, right side) every 15 minutes, while the TB bacteria ATE the cancer cells on all inside-sides of the bladder. It worked! The cancer AND THE PAIN of it are gone, thank God.

But the pain returns, usually when I have little more than just 1/3 cupful of urine in my bladder. I can live with that, happily peeing it away easily now in a few seconds.

Joint pain since the time of that surgery — in my right shoulder, left knee, and right ankle(rarely), followed ALWAYS by weakness in the lower left thigh muscle, until I sit and massage it for 3-4 minutes. Then it’s gone. I had to walk with a cane until the blessed VA physiotherapist prescribed a stationary bicycle, which I faithfully use twice-per-day for 15 minutes, 10 minutes going forward and 5 minutes backward (harder to do!). I use the can seldom now, since the bicycle exercise keeps the cushioning tissue beneath my left kneecap supple and soft, which avoids the knee from buckling to avoid the pain from the previously too-hardened under-kneecap cushion. (Describing all this is twice as hard as putting up with it!)

At nights, my right, second smallest toe (which like the two toes on either side of it are clubbed, turned under, as are the same three on the left foot, from wearing shoes 2 sizes too small during the WWII shortages), aches with a phantom ingrown toenail that I had removed THREE YEARS AGO if I just barely touch it with a sheet, blanket, or mattress cover. This ALONE accounts for the most frequent sleep-loss of my life 3 out of 5 nights — this amid the chorus of the other areas demanding equal time and concern.

These other areas include both thumbs’ mid joints, which love to throb in unison, once either one is bumped ever so slightly; and an ill-fitting (now) jawbone hinge/joint, which pops out EVERY time I yawn or insert my dentures, and feels like it did when I had the mumps on both sides 65 years ago (I’m 71 now).

Other than my lower back pain, which returns every time I lift more than 10 pounds with either arm (I avoid it by ALWAYS using both hands/arms when lifting ANYTHING now), I’m pain free!

Remarkably, I’ve NEVER had a single headache, nor heartburn, nor other chest pain in this marvelous, fully co-ordinated and athletic body that, when I was 22 years of age, propelled a 3-speed (not 10) narrow-tired bicycle, from Long Beach to San Diego, in 180 minutes flat, breaking the record of 3 hours AND FORTY MINUTES for the same trip (up steep hill and down on the Coast highway), at one point being clocked at 63 miles per hour on a flat straight-away stretch of highway, verified by the trailing car which accompanied me.

I thank God for this marvelous body, which never anymore catches cold, nor flu, nor anything else most ORDINARY humans do in the respiratory area — at the same time feeling terribly out of breath whenever I carry so much as 20 pounds for a distance of 20 feet!!

I pray for your continued success in combating pain, and thank you heartily for encouraging the rest of us to hang in there, being thankful for what we have and staying off our pity-pots in the interim of our personal bouts of pain.

SO MANY OTHERS SUFFER TWICE WHAT MOST OF US DO … somehow silently … probably because they’ve accepted it as theirs to bear and they keep moving on the path set just for them otherwise.

Bless your work, always.

Don Brennecke

Despite the fact that I thoroughly enjoyed a six-week introductory-community-offered class on favorite types of ballroom dancing (waltz, foxtrot, samba, tango, etc.), I don’t actually enjoy dancing because I CAN’T FEEL THE BEAT. PERIOD. When others automatically clap to a singer’s musical (cadenced; rhythmical) offering, I love the song, and the feeling expressed by the singer — but my body, especially the feet, miss the whole point of it– what’s this?

And (sadly for her because I can’t join her), my wife LOVES to dance and can’t possibly sit still when an Irish jig or similar (for others, toe-tapping) musical rendition fills the air, which sends her and most others into a sort of enraptured twirling and spinning frenzy … while I, mystified at their sudden, if spontaneous gyrations, smile with feigned delight as THEY enjoy themselves. It just doesn’t happen to me!

YET — I love to sing — have even been said to have a wonderful voice similar to Don Williams (my favorite), but closer to Bing Crosby in terms of the range I can manage. In fact, we’ve sung “True Love” to please others who have heard us so many times, and who marvel at my ability to come in perfectly at prescribed entrance points, while totally unable to clap at the same time as everybody else!

My pains began at age 66 with bladder cancer, coupled with prostate cancer (which terminated finally when the prostate was surgically removed), which came in waves of stifling aches from the strain of urinating– rather attempting to–but typically failing to manage more than a cloudy drop or two. Now, post-surgery, I pee freely and usually pain free — much to the chagrin of those younger men struggling in the urinal spaces next to mine in restrooms, who are always painfully attempting to pass urine through urethras squeezed shut by super-enlarged prostate glands. THANK GOD that part of it is in the past! The bladder cancer (unbelievably, but true) is gone thanks to 18 treatments of having my aching bladder filled with 100 cc’s of TB BACTERIA for an hour, as I rolled from one of four positions to another (back, left side, front, right side) every 15 minutes, while the TB bacteria ATE the cancer cells on all inside-sides of the bladder. It worked! The cancer AND THE PAIN of it are gone, thank God.

But the pain returns, usually when I have little more than just 1/3 cupful of urine in my bladder. I can live with that, happily peeing it away easily now in a few seconds.

Joint pain since the time of that surgery — in my right shoulder, left knee, and right ankle(rarely), followed ALWAYS by weakness in the lower left thigh muscle, until I sit and massage it for 3-4 minutes. Then it’s gone. I had to walk with a cane until the blessed VA physiotherapist prescribed a stationary bicycle, which I faithfully use twice-per-day for 15 minutes, 10 minutes going forward and 5 minutes backward (harder to do!). I use the cane seldom now, since the bicycle exercise keeps the cushioning tissue beneath my left kneecap supple and soft, which avoids the knee from buckling to avoid the pain from the previously too-hardened under-kneecap cushion. (Describing all this is twice as hard as putting up with it!)

At nights, my right, second smallest toe (which like the two toes on either side of it are clubbed, turned under, as are the same three on the left foot, from wearing shoes 2 sizes too small during the WWII shortages), aches with a phantom ingrown toenail that I had removed THREE YEARS AGO if I just barely touch it with a sheet, blanket, or mattress cover. This ALONE accounts for the most frequent sleep-loss of my life 3 out of 5 nights — this amid the chorus of the other areas demanding equal time and concern.

These other areas include both thumbs’ mid joints, which love to throb in unison, once either one is bumped ever so slightly; and an ill-fitting (now) jawbone hinge/joint, which pops out EVERY time I yawn or insert my dentures, and feels like it did when I had the mumps on both sides 65 years ago (I’m 71 now).

Other than my lower back pain, which returns every time I lift more than 10 pounds with either arm (I avoid it by ALWAYS using both hands/arms when lifting ANYTHING now), I’m pain free!

Remarkably, I’ve NEVER had a single headache, nor heartburn, nor other chest pain in this marvelous, fully co-ordinated and athletic body that, when I was 22 years of age, propelled a 3-speed (not 10) narrow-tired bicycle, from Long Beach to San Diego, in 180 minutes flat, breaking the record of 3 hours AND FORTY MINUTES for the same trip (up steep hill and down on the Coast highway), at one point being clocked at 63 miles per hour on a flat straight-away stretch of highway, verified by the trailing car which accompanied me.

I thank God for this marvelous body, which never anymore catches cold, nor flu, nor anything else most ORDINARY humans do in the respiratory area — at the same time feeling terribly out of breath whenever I carry so much as 20 pounds for a distance of 20 feet!!

I pray for your continued success in combating pain, and thank you heartily for encouraging the rest of us to hang in there, being thankful for what we have and staying off our pity-pots in the interim of our personal bouts of pain.

SO MANY OTHERS SUFFER TWICE WHAT MOST OF US DO … somehow silently … probably because they’ve accepted it as theirs to bear and they keep moving on the path set just for them otherwise.

Bless your work, always.

Don Brennecke

are there any classes in my area, 22849 near Harrisonburg Va

I now use Qigong on myself and have reovered my lungpower, despite having COPD from 38 years of inhaling cigars.

Please send information about classes or training available.

Dear Loolwa,
What an inspirational site and I just can’t stop myself from crying to see that I am not the only one who lives this hell.  It touched me so much when you mention that most people do not understand and that there are however a special few that do stay around to comfort and support (The love of my life, my husband Louis who does not understand, but he does not question and he stands by me every minute of every day and always has motivation for me when I stumble).  I believe that not counting the excruciating pain itself, the difficult part is not being able to get straight answers and effective treatment from the medical community here.  I have great doctors, don’t misunderstand me, but somehow, drug after drug, treatment after treatment and promising news after promising news, it always come back to the same, I am not pain free and still not able to be the shadow of the person I was physically 2 years ago before my accident.
God bless dear girl and thank you for sharing your story.  In love and light, best regards!
Are there any classes or training available in the Montreal, Quebec, Canada area.