Living with Chronic Pain

By: Loolwa Khazzoom, Founder, Dancing with Pain

January 13th, 2008 • Living with Chronic PainPrint Print

For the past decade, I have lived with chronic pain. This condition, no matter what the cause, creates a chain reaction of chaos in one’s life: limited mobility, chronic fatigue, weight gain, economic instability, dependency on others, a shrinking social life, perpetual fear, and depression, to name just a few results.

In my case, the pain was caused by a series of physical injuries, many at the hands of doctors and bodyworkers. As an upshot, I have faced not only the fallout of chronic pain itself, but also the emotional trauma of turning to a healthcare system that often has proven to be more violent than caring.

What’s more, I have found myself coping with an onslaught of accusations: Most people have assumed that if I was having so many struggles, especially with the healthcare system (which we all know is there to help people, right?), the problem must lie in me — bad luck, bad karma, or a just a plain old bad attitude.

And so the past ten years have felt like an incessant avalanche crashing down on me. So many times when I scratched, clawed, and crawled my way out of the rubble, another outburst threw me back under it. The more trauma I went through, the more I found myself isolated — making the struggle that much harder:

Most people, I discovered, simply did not have the capacity to offer compassion and support for what I was enduring or accolades and encouragement for what I was overcoming. But a few people did — exceptional friends, family, and healthcare professionals. Their love, insight, and support helped me keep on keeping on.

As I trudged forward, I experienced bursts and spurts where I was able to heal myself. Each incident seemed too “out there” to be real, so I repeatedly chalked it up to coincidence. As the evidence in my personal life mounted, however, I came to trust that yes, I was in fact able to heal my own damn self — without any kind of medical degree or bodywork certificate, thank you very much.

Through this blog, I now share with the universe the story of my personal journey and the discoveries I have made along the way. I trust that the process will simultaneously offer you some tools for your own healing, while bringing me deeper into mine.

I pray that it also will create a virtual community for those of us honestly and courageously dancing with our pain, embracing the spectrum of emotions from rage and terror to determination and ecstasy.

I hope you enjoy my blog, and I welcome any comments and suggestions.

With love, light, and the spirit of dance,
Loolwa Khazzoom
January 13, 2008



Comments

How to Cope with Pain February 20th, 2008

Hi,
Wanted to say welcome to pain blogging! Also to invite you to submit to the monthly pain-blog carnival at How to Cope with Pain. February submissions accepted thru 2/22.
Looking forward to reading more at your site.

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