At the end of my dance session today, the word “conduit” came to mind, to express something that I have wanted to articulate about the Dancing with Pain® approach to dance. As in, my body is a conduit for music.
The music shapes my body. The music penetrates and permeates me, vibrates through my bones, swirls around my nerves, flows through my bloodstream. It moves me.
In a way, that’s why the dance is safe: I am not trying to impose any preconceived movements onto it. The music dances me, as my body dances the music. The relationship is dynamic and alive.
The music informs me. The music guides me. The music becomes me, and I become the music, in a state of transcendence.
Today, I started off sitting in a meditative, cross- legged position, for the very soft, a cappella beginning of my session — as I absorbed the music and became aware of and embodied my internal landscape. I then lay down for the still-soft, ethereal song that followed, and I continued absorbing the music, embodying it.
I remained lying down, as the music gradually increased intensity. How long will I just lie here, I wondered. A part of me wanted to actively move — i.e., to initiate physical movements in rhythm to the music. But the deeper part of me, the wiser part of me, knew to continue lying down and absorbing the music, to let the music inform my movement.
As one song transitioned into another, I noticed my body softening, relaxing, surrendering into the carpeted floor. And then, like magic, my body started to move — first my toes, then my fingers, then my torso, legs, and head.
It was therapy. It was medicine. It was exactly what I needed. The relationship between the music and my body knew exactly where to guide me in my movement journey today.
When I release expectations and goals; when I surrender to the magic and mystery of each unique journey; when I experience my body with a sense of discovery and wonder, knowing that each day I am different, then the transformation happens.
Sometimes it is tiny. Sometimes the changes are almost imperceptible. Sometimes the changes are obvious, with gross muscular movements.
By the end of my session, I was jumping, leaping to the music. It was so easy, natural, organic, coming from deep within — that place where G-d and Spirit and joy and possibility and spontaneity mingle. It was delicious.