My Thoughts on Healing

By: Loolwa Khazzoom, Founder, Dancing with Pain

January 13th, 2011 • Mind-Body MedicinePrint Print

Here is the way I intuitively have approached healing throughout my life:

  1. You become aware of something that doesn’t feel right. You feel something off in your body. Or a deep voice inside you calls out for change.
  2. You identify what is the root of this imbalance, distress, or dissonance.
  3. You look at all the factors contributing to this imbalance. What is your part? What is the part of other individuals? What is a systemic issue?
  4. You look at the resources you have at your disposal and think about how to put them to use. You think of other resources and of avenues for accessing those resources. You put your creative thinking to use.
  5. You engage in whatever it takes to transform on your end – not only to clean up your side of the street, but to purify yourself inside and manifest your authentic self in your body, your mind, your spirit, and your life. This involves taking risks without any assurance of the outcomes.
  6. You lovingly and honestly, with your best communication skills, challenge those contributing to the issue to reflect on their own contributions to the problem. You hold out your hand to solve the problem together.
  7. You accept that some people are limited in their thinking, their vision, or their ability, and that they may not be interested, willing, or able to participate in the healing. You then have to do an additional level of healing – letting go of those people, or learning how to co-exist with them, without opening and re-opening wounds, without compromising your own ability to fly. This is the step I became aware of more recently in my life. I used to think we all had the same capacities and interests. I now know that is not the case. Some people are married to or marred in suffering. They don’t want to heal. They thrive off of being victims. Other people have chemical imbalances, mental illnesses, personality disorders. Some people just don’t have the energy or mental capacity. Anyhow, this part is super tough for me, because what do you do when you realize you are not even on the same planet as people you love? And when you realize that having them in your life just hurts you over and over and over, but you really don’t want to let them go, because you very clearly can see the path to healing and how that would benefit everyone involved.

Anyhow I’m laying out my seven steps to healing because I think people get stuck in various places along the way, or they try to jump over some of the steps, to get the goodies at the end – the nirvana. But the nirvana only comes through the process. And as I discussed with myself back in my twenties, as I was going through the process myself, you can’t be doing all the soul-searching and digging and risking so as to get those goodies at the end. Because then you’re not really doing it. You’re just going through the motions. And that is not authentic at all. That’s just bullshit pantomime.

I will probably revisit this matter in future posts. I have decided to make the best effort to do a blog post every evening, even if it’s short, even if it kind of rambles. Because I keep not blogging because everything takes energy, and I keep not feeling that I have the energy to blog in addition to getting back on my feet.

But I don’t want my thoughts and stories and feelings to slip away in the meantime.



Comments

dave January 14th, 2011

loolwa- i agree with you on this

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