Last week, I got an ultrasound, to check out a goiter and see if there was any imbalance in my thyroid. This morning, before I was properly caffeinated, I might add, I called to find out the address for my gyno appointment. While I had the administrator on the line, I asked about the results of my ultrasound.
The administrator began reading to me from the letter my doctor had written but not yet sent. Uh oh, I thought. This can’t be good. The letter informed me that I had heterogeneous thyroid, with a nodule on the left dominant gland, and that I would need to schedule an appointment with endocrinology for follow-up.
“Endocrinology? Um, you mean cancer specialists?” I asked. “Yes,” she replied. “So there’s a possibility it’s cancerous?” I asked. “Yes,” she replied.
The next available endocrinology appointment was two weeks out, and the ones after were up to a month out. Agony.
I pressed for an immediate appointment. “I can’t deal with waiting for two weeks to find out if this is cancerous,” I pleaded. To her credit, the receptionist poked around at various locations until she came up with a winner. “Can you come today?” she asked. “Yes,” I said, knowing I’d bolt anywhere at any time and cancel anything to get this over with.
An anxious day.
I don’t feel comfortable getting into too much detail at this time, but suffice it to say this: I’m getting a biopsy, and regardless of the outcome, I’m not opting for surgery. For starters, surgery means taking out the entire thyroid, which means being on medications all day every day forever and ever and ever.
Through my teens and early 20s, I was on four medications that I had to take four times a day, for multiple respiratory conditions. Through mental determination and physical discipline, I intuitively and single-handedly got myself off all the medications within a two-year period. I don’t intend to go back on meds and be dependent on them for the rest of my life.
Second, a vocal nerve runs dangerously close to the thyroid. One wrong slip, and that’s it for my voice. No thanks. You take my voice, I’m going with it.
And perhaps most importantly, I believe in the power of self-healing. Dance. Guided imagery. Meditation. Raw whole foods (possibly, heh, vegan). So I’m using my blog to reach out and ask for your prayers, your love, your support, your healing energy, and your guidance, to help me get through this period more vibrantly alive and healthy than ever before. I believe that with the love and support of good, nurturing people, I will prevail – together, we will prevail.
If you are part of a prayer circle, please pray for me. If you dance, please send some of your beautiful dance love my way. If you make music or paint or do any other artsy activity, please have me in your thoughts during your creative process. If you know meditation techniques for healing cancer, please write to me about them. If you know books that recommend the best diet for eliminating cancer, please send me the titles.
Gd/dess willing, this nodule is benign. Regardless, I’m going in prepared.