Release, Control, and Healing

By: Loolwa Khazzoom, Founder, Dancing with Pain

July 16th, 2016 • Travel Dance HealPrint Print

Traveling provides the opportunity to release – our baggage (literally), our personas, our habits, our “stuck”ness, and as the umbrella of all these things, our control. I love traveling. I am adventurous soul, someone who dives into the fray, who – as one quote says, grabs life by the lapel and says, “I’m with you, kid, let’s go!”

I surf on the waves of life. Which is why I am perpetually frustrated by those who judge me by external circumstances. Another blog post for another time, but the gist is that I feel that many people live by some script by how life “should” be and that if your life is not running according to that script, they decide all kinds of things about you. It’s the very kind of rigidity that festers health challenges, and ironically, these people impose these judgements as a way of (mis)guiding you on healing from said health challenges. It’s a load of crap.

But I digress.

I believe that healing necessitates flow, release, boldly stepping into a new and expansive world of possibilities. And yet, it also requires an incredible amount of control – over what food we eat, what products we use, and what tools we have. That’s why I was so terrified of and out of mode from the prospect of this globe-trotting adventure: The past eight years of my life have been all about extreme discipline, in the interest of facilitating my mom’s healing and my healing, and footing the bill for all of it.

Last night, while staying at my first AirBnB, I dried my face on a towel and nearly choked from the intense smell of chemicals. It has been so long since I have used conventional products, I forgot what they smell like. Why would someone put this crap on anything that comes near their body? Then this morning, I discovered that the only dish soap is the Ajax brand. Since I have no dish soap of my own, being that I’m traveling and trying to keep everything light, I ironically need to use this chemical crap (which may contribute to cancer) to clean out the blender to make my smoothie with all my immune-boosting supplements (which heal cancer).

Where do I say fuck it, and where do I work hard to ensure that everything in my environment facilitates my healing? Where does the stress of controlling matters while traveling in itself undermine my healing? Where does letting go – even if I’m eating pesticide-sprayed produce and using chemical-laden products – facilitate my healing?

The other challenge is that the more things I lug around with me, in the interest of controlling my environment, the heavier my bags are. Not only does that dampen the fun and spontaneity factor, but it also makes it damn near impossible to lift my bags – in turn, making me dependent on others, kindness of strangers and all that. It also makes traveling more expensive, because – in good form – I need to tip the shuttle driver, taxi driver, or whoever may be helping me lift those heavy bags in and out of vehicles and lodgings.

In other words, the best way to travel with health issues is to 1) have as little to carry as possible and 2) bring as much holistic healing stuff as possible. How does one resolve this inherent conflict? Stay tuned…



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