Layers upon layers upon layers. How can I tell my story, when it is so overwhelming. When people choose judgment over compassion, looking not at the system that creates unnecessary suffering, but at the individuals who have been victimized by that system.
Being victimized does not mean being a victim. We do not have control over the universe. Part of being a powerful person is acknowledging the limitations of our power and reaching out to others, to create a loving environment together. We are inter-dependent beings. When you step on my foot, it will hurt.
I am exhausted. I am angry. And I’m tired of having to deal not only with the experience of injury, and not only with the experience of doctors who exacerbate my pain through careless behavior, and not only with the experience of my life shrinking and shrinking as a result, but also with the condemning, heartless accusations flying around, under the guise of self-empowerment — i.e., that it’s my body’s fault or my mind’s fault, that something is wrong with me.
It’s so simple: You have a cut, you put alcohol on it, you put a Band-Aid on it, it heals.
But what happens when you have a cut, but you are told — by the people who control the alcohol and Band-Aid — that you do not in fact have a cut. You are told to you are crazy for thinking you have a cut. You are repeatedly refused the alcohol and denied the Band-Aid.
Time passes. The wound festers and gets infected and spreads. Other parts of your body are affected. You develop hypersensitivity because of the spreading infection. Your life changes, revolves around the limitations caused by the infected areas of your body.
The medicine gatekeepers begin asking why you didn’t get the wound taken care of before. When you tell them that other medicine gatekeepers denied you access, they close ranks and decide it was your fault, that you must be a belligerent, difficult patient. They do not get to know you. They do not question the system. The increasing frustration, depression, fear, and anger you feel is used against you – proof that you have caused the situation.
You become desperate for help but terrified of the people in charge of administering it. The more you turn for help, the more you are physically and emotionally traumatized. The larger the story becomes. The more people don’t want to touch it, don’t want to touch you. You become isolated. That too is seen as your fault.
The Law of Attraction is a convenient way of shirking responsibility for personal and communal accountability to those around us. It’s heading for the hills when the town is burning, leaving the children, elderly, and sick behind, engulfed in the flames. It’s all good, the law of attraction saysd. They brought it on themselves.