We Can Do It: Riding through Depression

By: Loolwa Khazzoom, Founder, Dancing with Pain

September 17th, 2009 • Mind-Body Medicine • Print Print

I was shit-faced today. Not in the had-too-many-drinks kind of way. Deeply depressed and anxious about a lot of big fat fucking deal things. So what did I do? I hauled my chronic-pain-assed body onto my bike and headed toward the beach.

I kept wanting to turn around. I didn’t. I biked down the slightly-terrifying, car-whizzing, freeway-entrance road to the beach path – feeling nervous, but doing it anyhow. Slowly. Carefully. Mindfully.

I biked on the beach. And while the sunshine didn’t quite penetrate the darkness in my soul today, it did prevent me from descending as deeply into the pit as I would have otherwise. What’s more, I got an awesome fucking workout. I biked 13 miles. I did it because I didn’t think I could.

And somewhere along the way, I think I even half-smiled at the turquoise-colored water.




Comments

Diana Lee September 18th, 2009

Wow, Loolwa. Good for you! It’s so inspiring to hear about someone pushing back against the urge to hibernate. I really struggle with this.

JoAnne March 8th, 2010

Wow! I wish I could walk or run let alone ride a bike! I look at people walking along with their arms swinging and I wonder if they are ever aware of the miracle of being able to walk. I never was when I could walk freely. Now after a Neurosurgeon from hell got through with me and an HMO that thinks my back surgery was a success; really, then how come I can’t walk without a walker and not far with that and how come I have no balance any more? Don’t you love HMO’s and doctors from hell? Is it any wonder I’m depressed pretty much all of the time? Sorry, this was suppose to be aout you. . . . 

ashmax report July 12th, 2010

im so confused i want to get this post dled into my g1 that way my step fater can see it, but i cannot find a way.. will anyone tell me how please??

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