I was shit-faced today. Not in the had-too-many-drinks kind of way. Deeply depressed and anxious about a lot of big fat fucking deal things. So what did I do? I hauled my chronic-pain-assed body onto my bike and headed toward the beach.
I kept wanting to turn around. I didn’t. I biked down the slightly-terrifying, car-whizzing, freeway-entrance road to the beach path – feeling nervous, but doing it anyhow. Slowly. Carefully. Mindfully.
I biked on the beach. And while the sunshine didn’t quite penetrate the darkness in my soul today, it did prevent me from descending as deeply into the pit as I would have otherwise. What’s more, I got an awesome fucking workout. I biked 13 miles. I did it because I didn’t think I could.
And somewhere along the way, I think I even half-smiled at the turquoise-colored water.