What You See Does Not Equate What You Get

By: Loolwa Khazzoom, Founder, Dancing with Pain

May 12th, 2011 • Chronic Pain LiteraturePrint Print

It’s funny. When people read my writing, they think they know me. When I express angst about something, they think I’m a negative person.

Reading someone’s writing, even if from the gut, is just getting a little tiny piece of information about that person, especially if you’ve never met the person. Information is not knowledge.

Without any background on the person, especially, it’s impossible to know how that little piece fits anywhere. It’s impossible to know if that little piece is in fact a little piece, and if so, how little, or if it’s in fact a huge gigantic piece.

So over the years, there have been all these people who think and say (at the most inappropriate moments, I might add, like when I’m suffering), “ Bad things keep happening to you.” Or “You don’t believe in the Law of Attraction because you haven’t manifested anything in your life.” It’s really quite remarkable how arrogant and insensitive and judgmental people are who don’t take the time to get to know you well. Knowing someone well involves, among other things, experiencing that person over the years, having a sense of how that person behaves in different circumstances with different people.

At any rate, there have been untold experiences in my life of serendipity. Extraordinary synchronicity. Just because I don’t share it doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. I’m bringing this up now because I’m in the middle of writing about these experiences. And, well, I got to thinking about the stupid assumptions people make, and I just fucking wanted to say something about it.

Like when I used to paint, and people thought I was depressed because some of my paintings were “dark.” Depressed? Hell no. I got that shit out on the canvas. Depression comes from holding angst inside, turning it inward. Just because you see it doesn’t mean I am it. It means I have expressed it, and now you’re looking at it.

We are each so much more than one expression of one aspect of one moment in time. Let’s realize that and honor it and not make all kinds of assumptions about who someone is. That kind of culture just discourages people from opening up and sharing creatively.



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